I have always wanted a big house in the country. A house that was big enough for the size of my family. What I have instead is a small house that is not big enough for my family and no storage. As a matter of fact it only has 2 yes I said 2 closets in the whole house,and one bathroom. We are on top of each other in this house and have no absolutely no privacy,we are all so close together you can literally hear each word spoken. John and I wait often until the kids are in bed to have our talks,otherwise it's a family discussion even if it's not intended to be. : )
As you can see I still am not happy with our currant living conditions but I'm learning. I am learning to be Thankful for what I have. To see my home as a blessings and not see all the things that need to be done to it to make it more of what I want. To be content with where I am and not want more. Yes I still would love to have a bigger home but it's not a must have. If Lord willing the oppertunity presents itself for us to get a bigger home of course we will. But if that never happens I am learning to be content with what I have and that is a small home that is a fixer upper and that's fine by me. The up side to this home is we have an acre of land,we are in the country,we have nice neighbors that we have known for years,we have a lot of wild life all around us,the house is paid off (that's a big one),it's quiet and calming here. Just about everyone that visits us loves it here. They say it's relaxing and they feel so calm and warm here. That is inpart because of our hospitality but also our home and it's settings.
No it's not what I have always wanted but it's a blessing nontheless. So strange how God works sometimes,we were looking for a bigger home in the country and John got laid off in March. First panic set in but soon I took it as a challenge. It has not been easy by any means, we have had to cut back and trim our spending plan. Our boys have not been able to do things they did before John was laid off. I have been so very tempted to go to work to help but I am unable to. I am still under doctors care and am now disabled and unable to work. So I strapped on my fighting gloves and dug in. Making and doing all that I know to do to cut our utility bills and stretch our food and household items. The one thing we have learned from all this,well there have been many things we have learned,we wished we had all our debt paid off before this happened. Now we are still paying off debt while living off of 60% less income each month. It hurts but we are managing.
We are determined to get out of debt and stay out of debt. We don't even want to get another car loan,they are just not worth it. Instead we are going to keep an account open to save up for our cars and when we get enough in the account saved then we will start our search for a good quality used car. We still have hope to one day have a bigger home but until then we are content where we are.
There are so many lessons in life and we never stop learning them. The key is learning from your mistakes and changing the behavior that caused the mistake in the first place. For example we have struggled in our budget since he was laid off. A few times we have even over drawn due to not watching closely. I don't have to tell you how much that hurts,paying the nsf fees,ouch,that would hurt any budget but when your laid off and living off of only a fraction of what you are use to living off of. Yep that is a doozy,but learning for our mistakes,we know to be more careful in our spending and more watchful over our money.
Sometimes life is hard and things happen that we just don't understand. I was bitter at first when I seen or heard of guys that worked in the same factory John did and that are still working there. Getting overtime because their work load is heavy but yet the company is not calling back their laid off workers yet. I would get so angry over this ,but even though I still don't like it,God has helped me ease that anger. He has a plan for us and well maybe that factory is not in his plans. We are learning patience and waiting on the Lord. For all things!