There are so many things in my life that I have taken for granted. So many people that I knew for sure would never abandon me. Things and people I counted on all the time,it was part of my foundation,of who I am/was.
I have had my heart broken into tiny little pieces. When I heard that my mom and dad were divorcing,I was shocked. I got angry and I still am but with the Lord's help managing. I never thought my parents would not be together. I am 35 years old and just always thought they would be there. And when I heard about all that was going on I felt my foundation start shaking.
After a while my dad stopped talking to me. He believed something that were told about me that I did to him that was completely and absolutely false. When I was able to ,after a few months, try to talk to him about it he refused to hear me. He knows me and knows I would never do anything to hurt him and I definatly wouldn't lie. I take my walk with Jesus serious and strive daily to be the person he wants me to be. And a liar isn't that!
When he stopped talking to me completely part of my foundation fell and washed away. I feel for anyone that has lost their father,but to have to go through the pain of losing a father that is still on earth is just rediculous. But that is what I have been doing,my dad is still living but he is gone. He is dating another woman and has turned his back on his family. What I thought was right has been thrown down and kicked. I know it's wrong to live that way, to commit adultery. The Lord plainly says that's wrong it's a sin! It's in the commandments ,that's how bad it is and how much he wanted us to refrain from doing it.
To take a marriage that was once stronge and toss it to the side like it never mattered,I just can't wrap my brain around that. We are moving along each day but with a pain in our hearts. And a grief that lingers.
The Lord is our strength and I am so thankful I have my Heavenly Father to turn to. He has held me up and he has held me in his arms while I cried. When I fell to my knees because I had no more strength,he sat beside me with his arms around me and I cried in his arms. Through my pain of loss ,I have felt a love from the Lord that I never have before. I think when you get so down that you just can't go on that's when you can truly see how powerful and how wonderful Jesus really is.
2009 started off wonderful. My sons were saved and filled with the Holy Ghost and baptised in Jesus name. My husband recieved the gift of the Holy Ghost. It was so wonderful and I was so happy.
Then it was like a blanket of doom and gloom was laid over us. My mom had a breakdown and was in the hospital for a while. My husband was laid off for almost a year and has just gotten back to work in the past month. Then I find out why my mom had the breakdown and almost most lost myself. We went through a lot of financial problems,things like our suv breaking down 3 or 4 times. New tires and breaks and thing needing to be put on it. I could on and on believe me I could but there's no point to. I'm not trying to have a pitty Tammy party here.I'm simply trying to put a picture of 09 in your head so you can see how great and mighty Jesus is!
No my parents are not back together. I am praying for them both and if it's God's will they will be,if my dad has turned his heart off to God then it won't happen. My biggest fear is that something will happen to him now and he will go to Hell for the sins he is committing. It breaks my heart the thought of a once Godly man being so lost.
We are strong people and we will get through this,the sun is peaking through and the days are getting brighter. I don't know what the future holds,I don't know what will happen to my dad. But I do know that Jesus helped us through all this and is still carrying us through.
If you are going through something in your life that is shaking your foundation and you need someone to pray with you or for you. I will, just send me an email or comment and I will pray for you. God loves you all.