Thursday, December 3, 2009

Feelings Of Inadequacy

I posted this when I first started Blessings Abundant and thought it was worth posting on here. Given things have changed in my life. I no longer wear make up (not that I really did anyway). But other than that things are the same.

Last night I took my daughter to gymnastics. I sat there looking like a plain no frills houswife surrounded by professional women. They were dressed so nice and all put together,some worked while waiting for the daughters to finish but most talked amoung one another. I felt so out of place it was not funny. Here I am sitting there a stay at home mom,with jeans on,tennis shoes,a t-shirt, my hair pulled back in a pony tail and no make up on,talk about not feeling so good about yourself. I was busy all day in the house and by the time evening rolled around I was to tired to fix myself up. I sat there talking to no one and feeling bad about myself,feeling scummy and not pretty at all.

But on the bright side I know I am doing what is best for my children by choosing to be home for them. I'm here if they need me,they don't have to call my work or be sent to a day care or a baby sitter. I'm here I'm with them I'm at home. I take pride in that for the most part but last night was one of those nights where I felt like I didn't live up to what all those around me did. Like they were better than I was. In all actuality it's not that way,they may feel inadquat because they work so much,they may feel they are not the good mom because the day care center or baby sitter or teachers know more about their child(ren) than they do. I think there's pros and cons of being on either side of the fense but still from time to time I can't help but feel down about who I am when around women like that.

Happy Homemaking

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